coolestcat | video † 1

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[Video feed drifts lazily about New Bark Town. I'm sure you've seen it all before. An amused, disembodied voice begins speaking.]

All right. Obviously, there isn't enough room in this town for an asylum, so I won't bother trying to check into one.

[The camera lingers briefly on Mom's house. The unspoken implication is 'or trying to get others committed.'. The camera comes to focus on Youji's face. His smile is pleasant and friendly.]

I heard the 'Welcome to the world of Pokemon, they're fantastic,' spiel, so elaboration on what's going on is unnecessary. Far too sober to make sense of it anyway. I'd much rather hear about how you're dealing with this.

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'Assuming' my ass...What kind of evidence did you have in mind?

[He can appreciate the caution, especially since he's realizing now just how much time is between them and isn't that weird as hell. But that doesn't mean he's not kinda annoyed by it all the same.]

I'm guessing it's not my shoe size or favorite color.

Well, the annoyance is a good start. If you are an impostor, old man, I give you credit for doing your homework.

[See, even if you get old, you're funny when you're mad. Awesome.]

I don't know, what's something about me only you'd know? My liquor tolerance doesn't count.

I'm not that old. [huff.]

[You sleep in the buff and bring home a different woman every other night? Ken's not touching Asuka with a hundred foot pole.]

You were always pissing Manx off by spouting some bullshit about how you can tell what kind of woman she is by her ankles, does that count?

You certainly shouldn't be, Ken.

[All joking aside, he is now convinced, reaching into his pocket for cigarettes because oh my do those sound fantastic now. No one who wasn't in Weiss would have witnessed those scenes, and you're too tall to be Omi, and too personable to be Aya. Ergo!]

Give me a few minutes to really process this, hm? How... how old are you? You're still shorter than I am, aren't you?

Is that... purple rodent your little companion?

Well, my birthday just passed a couple weeks ago here, but it was nowhere near back home. Twenty-five or twenty-six, take your pick.

[as for that crack about height? Ken snorts.]

Yeah, yeah, I'm still shorter than you. What the hell, you think that matters any?

[Oh you. :| Moving right along...]

And yeah...he's one of the three. This is Ratty.

[The camera swings around to focus on Ken's Sentret and Ralts, whom he will introduce in turn.]

Omi, and Ran.

[one of these names is not like the others...]

[...too much to take in. What. What. WHAT. Laconically:]

...let me review. You are six years older than you should be, or seven, it's my choice, and...

[he snorts.]

I feel so left out. Your creativity astounds me.

Y'ever think that I'm exactly as old as I should be and that you're the one that's six or seven years behind?

[He's kinda got a point there. :|]

Oh shut up. I've only got the three, haven't gotten around to anyone that reminds me of you yet. None of the ones I've seen smoke like a chimney or chase near as many skirts as you do.

Give me a day with them and I'm sure I can work a few--yes darling?

[The little Smoochum under his arm reaches for the PokeGear insistently. Youji holds it away from her, kissing it is not sanitary.

Never mind who's too old and too young, I suppose we can agree that we're both at once. The important thing is I'm taller.

What's this about meeting you halfway? Given the choice between complaining about this nonsense to strangers and complaining to you... I'll take the strangers, but I won't deprive you of my company.

Lord only knows why I actually missed you.

I'm in Cherrygrove City, next town up from where you are. It's about a three day walk, and if there's any cars here I haven't seen them, so don't ask. It's not even a paved road between the two.

...what the hell kind of sub-civilized... Next you'll tell me they don't have running water. I saw a Nintendo in that damn kid's room I woke up in, how can they not have cars?

Don't ask me, I don't understand the logic either.

But if you want to get to anything approximating a city we're used to, might want to start walkin'. That bento'll only last so long, and until you get here you're shit out of luck for anything else.

Not sure I trust the fucking bento. I've never seen a woman so eager to kick me out of bed.

Then shut up and start walkin'. I'll bring something with me.

[Ken snorts.]

Guess someone had to be immune to your charming personality eventually.

So accommodating, clearly that someone isn't you.

[He looks at his Smoochum dubiously. Such a little, toddling thing... He sort of cradles it in one arm, and actually gets to walkin'.]

Well, old man, what are your plans for our stay here?

Only because I'm sure your ass would fucking haunt me if you up and died, then I'd never get any peace.

[Awwwww, isn't that adorable.]

I dunno. I've been holing up here 'cause of the snow. If I have to camp out, I want to do it in weather that isn't freezing.

[And he's been hoping that if he stays near that first town, someone familiar might show up eventually. He doesn't do well alone.]

[Clearly Youji is the answer to Ken's prayers. Likewise, Youji feels a lot better knowing there's a familiar face to get his back. Or a familiar face who has Pokemon to get his Smoochum's back. Whatever. The important thing is that, while still a bit freaked out by Ken being older, he'd rather be stuck here with Ken than 97% of the rest of his acquaintance.]

Well, you're not going to get any peace while I'm alive, either.

[Stating the obvious. Obviously.]

Not that I'm complaining.

[And another glance at the Smoochum.]

Speaking of, how cold-hardy is a Pokémon?

I don't know, use your Pokedex thing to check its type. They're all different.

[...that is a good idea, and Youji sidesteps a patch of grass to do so.]

...I'd wild-guess an Ice-type isn't going to be too fussed, hm. Good; I can just bitch about myself. I suppose I should be grateful I'm not bleeding all over this fine, pristine snow, but I find that I'm not.

[He pulls his thin red coat a little more tightly, and sidesteps what looks to be a very deep snowbank.]

Never thought I'd say this, but I miss the fucking trailer. It's cramped and I get tired of seeing three other men all the time, but at least the heater works.

I have an extra coat, if you think your delicate constitution can handle waiting a day or so for me to get to you.

[Ken snorts. Well, here's a bonus: now he has a time reference.]

Never thought I'd hear those words. I remember how much you bitched about that trailer.

Myyy delicate constitution really doesn't have much choice, does it.

[One for Youji, too: Past tense indicates that he doesn't complain about the trailer anymore. Since he can't see himself ever doing so out of respect for his teammates, it means he probably doesn't have reason to anymore. It occurs to him to wonder if they all really stay with Kritiker for another six years.]

I can bitch about something else if you'd prefer. Your singing maybe.

Nope. You'll have more choices to make once we hit Cherrygrove, but we'll leave that til then.

[Well...no. :D]

My singing is perfectly fine. No one else complains about it.

[ever wonder if it's because you render them deaf, Kenken?]

They might respect your feelings; I have no such compunctions.

[Shifts the Smoochum to his other arm before going on.]

'Cherrygrove' sounds disturbingly quaint. So long as I don't wake up tomorrow in someone else's bed--well, unless I find a way there myself, anyway.

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